


Bad day

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Author Projecting, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Hurt/Comfort, Meltdown, Multi, Yoon Jeonghan-centric, the rest of svt are there but only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: there are many things that make up what jeonghan considers a bad day. bad textures, bright lights, change of plans, anxiety, and much to his dismay, most of it is happening right now.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Yoon Jeonghan/Everyone
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Bad day

**Author's Note:**

> my first work,,, yay?
> 
> this is the result of a sugar high at 2 am,, i was feeling pretty on the verge of a meltdown so this is just projection of what my meltdowns are like lmfao. jeonghan is who im projecting onto because hes my comfort kpop boy and i lub him so what my mind wants to do? make him suffer!! but happy ending so its not too bad,, also im sorry for the title i have no idea what to do with it.
> 
> alsoidk if this is needed but english isnt my first language, although im pretty much fluent, there may be some grammar mistakes so i apologize ;;;;
> 
> anyways HERE IT IS! enjoy the word vomit

there are many things that make up what jeonghan considers a bad day. bad textures, bright lights, change of plans, anxiety, and much to his dismay, most of it is happening right now.

he had been feeling upset since he had woken up with a splitting headache. he barely slept at all, spending most of the night tossing and turning before eventually giving up and scrolling on his phone. it didn't help much that the dorm was absolute chaos as usual. he isn't sure how seokmin has enough energy to be screeching this much at the ass crack of dawn. but it’s okay, he just needs to take things one at a time. he replays his whole routine over and over in his head. make breakfast, eat a bit, get dressed, brush his teeth, do something with his hair, and throw a stim toy or two in his bag just in case of the worst scenario. but it won’t come to that. he'll be okay. 

he was wrong.

and now he's here, in a shirt he never liked the feeling of (and god he doesn't know why he thought he would like it today). now he's here, trying to dance in a room where the fluorescent lights are intensely shining and hes almost afraid that each boom of the speaker, each squeak of a shoe, each mutter of feedback is going to cause him to end up with two ruptured eardrums.

he tries his best to keep up with the choreography and ignore it, he really does. his members have told him multiple times that they'll drop everything as long as he's okay, that his rocking and routines and meltdowns don't bother them. but he can't do that to them. he's one of the oldest, it's not their responsibility to take care of him. so he stays quiet and tries to keep whatever's coming next on the inside.

they notice, they always do. they notice when his breathing picks up, short and shallow. they notice when he balls his hands up into fists and shakes them vigorously when he thinks everybody is distracted. and at the announcement of a break, everything gets continuously worse. at least when the music was on he had one noise to focus on and tune out the others, but now the members have gone to rustle in their belongings and gathered in groups to chat quietly, but not quiet enough. they're not very surprised when he slides down the wall, squeezes his eyes shut and slaps his hands over his ears.

they all stop in their tracks in an attempt to not make any noise. it helps a bit, but all he knows is that everything needs to stop right now. stop, stop, stop, stop. he feels a soft but firm hand rest on the small of his back as he aims to punch his thigh an even amount of times. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10. it can't be odd, odd numbers are bad.

“han, stop hitting.” its seungcheol, he'd recognize that voice anywhere, its stern with a gentle edge. but no, he can't just stop, seungcheol knows that. he lets out a choked sob in frustration and kicks his feet against the floor. he dreads the humiliation that starts kicking in and he attempts to sign ‘sorry’ with a shaking hand. seungcheol immediately cuts him off and softly says “its okay. you're okay. i'm not mad.”

when his members started noticing that jeonghan goes non-verbal during meltdowns or particularly bad days, they all chipped in to learn the basics of sign language to help with communication. seungcheol and joshua being especially good at it, picking it up quite quickly.

after a couple minutes the peak of his meltdown seemed to calm down, and he’s reduced to rocking with occasional whimpers. he hears rummaging and gentle footsteps coming towards him, then a an almost hesitant “hyung” barely above a whisper. he blinks the cloudiness out of his eyes from tears and looks up to see the sight of mingyu kneeling in front of him and holding out a stim toy he's been frequently using lately. that could've come in handy earlier. but he's grateful, if he was in his right mind he would be hugging mingyu right now as a thanks. instead, his lips curl up a bit into a small smile as he takes it.

he looks around for the first time since the beginning of the meltdown, and as always, there's nowhere near as much attention he thought he would be getting right about now. everybody's seemed to have packed up and are sitting along the walls, either on their phones or having conversations that are barely audible. he feels at ease for the first time in a while as he sits back and hums contentedly while twisting the tangle around his fingers.

seungcheol reaches up to run his fingers through jeonghans hair, one of the few touches he likes when he's overstimulated. “ready to go home?” jeonghan doesn't think he's ever nodded this forcefully in his life, and while it certainly didn’t help his headache continue to clear, it got the point across. he reaches out a hand in the general direction seungcheol is for him to take, and he gets pulled up so he's standing. joshua has two bags slung over his shoulder so he assumes it's his. he looks down at his feet as he beelines straight to every exit and into the van, seungcheols steady hand on his waist the entire time.

\------

when they're at the dorm, everybody goes immediately to their respective rooms as the pair head to jeonghans room. seungcheol helps jeonghan pull his shirt over his head. jeonghan then shimmies under his thick blanket and relishes in the slight pressure, whining in satisfaction. seungcheol smiles fondly while he sits on the edge of the bed, knowing that jeonghan will enjoy the company.

the last few thoughts jeonghan has before he drifts off to sleep is how much he loves his boys. he knows they'll always be there for him, and god, is that the best feeling. he knows as long as he's here, he's safe and will always be loved.

he'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so much for reading !! comments are super appreciated <33


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